Scott's Thoughts

To Be or Not To Be

I had a very busy weekend. I drove 7 hours to pick up my truck then another 2 hours to Boise so i could get a smog check on it. Stayed the night at my mom's place and drove back home the next day. I took Friday off to do it because the shop wasn't open on a Saturday so I didn't lose my whole weekend.

Sunday was quite different. I spent the day with Josie at Mt. Charleston. It's not much of a mountain - over-loaded with tourists such as myself for one thing - but it's close and is good for a day trip with some hiking trails. Got a little bit sunburned too as a souvenir. Afterwards we got a bite to eat at Olive Garden.

Josie and I talked about all kinds of things. I learned a lot about her. She confirmed a fear of intimacy that I had been guessing about. I also confirmed a lack of experience as well. She's only had one boyfriend and with the fear of intimacy obviously not much physical experience. She said it took her 2 months to let her boyfriend kiss her. She hinted at something in her past causing it but she didn't want to talk about it. Such a thing goes along with trust issues too (which she agreed with when we were reading astrology profiles). She would need a person to be very patient with her and be able to wait until she was comfortable with and trusting in order to have a relationship. Ironic considering she once said she wanted a fling before she left town which is now about 6 weeks. Such a thing would not be able to work for her - just wonder if she knows it.

She just frustrates the heck out of me. First she tells Sam she thinks I'm cute so I think she's interested. At first I wasn't sure if I was but decided to get to know her a bit and find out. I guess part of my problem is I approach relationships differently. I want to know if I'm compatiable with some one mentally before I want to start a romantic relationship. This is opposite from just about every guy I know. Now we are good friends but she doens't think about me romantically. Instead I hear from her about the guys that don't call her for 3 weeks and when they do it's 3 in the morning, the guys that say they should get together so she can cook for them (something she doesn't do) and guys that try to hook up with her at clubs when she is only there to dance.

She is starting to become like most of the other women I've observed, met or tried to date. They say they want certain things in a mate but what they are really looking for is a confident and dominate man regardless of all other skills or abilities or personalities. They will even go so far as to put up with abuse and subserviant behavior as long as the man does not show weakness. Oh I've met a few exceptions to the rule but they are few and I can usually rational why. They are usually older women who no longer care as much about physical needs or who a little more wiser and realize the best relationships are those where friends become lovers instead of lovers that become friends.

A large part of me wants her to come around but the little voice of reason that keeps me in touch with reality tells me it just ain't gonna happen.

posted by Site Smith Scott @ 3:27 PM